...You won't find it online.

     Since I was pregnant, I have been a big fan of online mommy sites. BabyGaga.com, WhatToExpect.com, BabyCenter.com, theBump.com... etc, etc, etc. However, if there is one thing I've learned from my four years of online experience it is that these communities are NOT the place to find perspective. Well... you'll find perspective, but it won't be the kind you want. I was lucky enough to have a very level-headed and drama-free due date group, but as we all had our babies and rejoined the remainder of the site, the drama kicked into high gear, picking us off one-by-one. Today, I don't know a single one of those old friends who are still online.

     "Why do I care?" you ask? Because if you like having friends to ask questions of and shoot the breeze with during mommyhood, there is one crucial thing you need to know: you won't find it online.

     Now, to set the record straight, I highly recommend every mommy-to-be get on these sites and make some friends. Just be sure to be realistic about what you'll find. I personally love perusing the drama corner on Baby Gaga. It's entertaining as hell and makes my life seem amazingly put together. There are also the expecting mums who I love to give advice to, since I teach childbirth and pregnancy stuff anyway. I hope they will do better than those of us who have gone before, but honestly, there are really only three options for an online mommy to go:

1. Eventually we realize the BS that was always there and stick to real life and Facebook. Sometimes Instagram if we're feeling particularly ambitious. Every 2-3 years, check back in to see if the drama's died down. It hasn't.
2. We become so insanely crazed by the drama that we, ourselves, become the Crazy. If you ever see: "youallz is jus bitches! not a gd mothaeff here whocare about me! mf trolls!"                  ...That's going to be you.
3. We become the said bitches, or instigators. It's entertaining as hell to make the newbs and illiterates squirm, but the ugly fact is... you're just not a nice person anymore, but if you were a clique-y bitch to begin with, then you'll probably be fine. 

Can you say drama, mama?